1. Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits – buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt… A wedge of lime and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? – Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don’t get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons – turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember, wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up; the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has tires or testicles it’s gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.