Here is an email exchanged between myself, Leigh W, Brenda A. & Tia M.
Monday, May 4th

FROM SELENA

I made up a list of things this weekend that I have learned looking after Jake (my 4 year old nephew)

1. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, is a negotiation

2. Just because it makes sense to them, doesn’t mean it makes sense to the rest of the world

3. Temper tantrums last exactly 5 min 37 secs

4. Just because they say they are tired and want to go to bed, doesn’t mean that they really want to; and when you try to put them to bed – you are the DEVIL (see #3, temper tantrums)

5. Kids will eat anything, as long as it is unhealthy and really really bad for them

6. Just because they ask for it, doesn’t mean they want it

7. They can be entertained by an object for exactly 10 min 45 secs, after, it is your job to find a new object to entertain them

8. Putting them in a Time Out gives them the opportunity to keep their vocal cords in peak performance

9. Using food as bribery doesn’t always work – actually, it has never worked

10. and finally…no matter the size of their toy box (football field size), they will throw a fit over the one toy they want to play with and cannot find

I personally learned one valuable lesson…love my nephew to death, but not sure I want kids 🙂

FROM LEIGH

In that case – I would like too officially welcome you to the club … the club involves:

1. No obligations

2. No tantrums

3. No schedules

4. No poopy pants

5. No time outs

6. No alarm clocks

7. No blocked TV channels

8. and best of all … Nap time is just for you

FROM SELENA

I am so honoured to be a part of this club. I would also like to add …

1. No Stretch marks

2. Liquor is NOT off limits

3. You don’t have to buy a new wardrobe

4. You don’t have to pee every 5 minutes

5. Your feet won’t swell so after you don’t have to give all your cool shoes to your sister

6. Ass doesn’t get bigger and bigger and bigger

7. and last, but certainly not least … your boobs begin to hang with age and not immediately after breast feeding

FROM BRENDA

And I am glad to be part of the club too! In addition …

1. You don’t have to talk like a baby

2. Your bed is all your own

3. People don’t avoid you in grocery stores, movie theatres and especially … airplanes

4. You can read more that Dr. Seuss

5. You never have to wonder, ‘Does this make me a bad Mommy?’

6. Your husband will never refer to you as ‘Mommy’

FROM SELENA

OMG…how true

AND adding one thing to the list…you don’t have to pick COWS candy out of the kid’s teeth because he jammed too many in his mouth (which you didn’t see) and his teeth stuck together.

I blame you for that Brenda!

FROM TIA

OK – you non-children people. Here are some things you won’t be fortunate enough to experience …

1. Early morning wake-ups that start with wonderful words like, “Mommy I think my diaper leaked.”

2. Projectile vomiting in your brand new car

3. Finding out it’s easier to buy a new car then figuring out how to get said vomit from between the cracks.

4. Being peed on

5. Being pooped on

6. Breast feeding a child with teeth

7. Knowing the words to the theme songs Spongebob and Backyardigans

8. Whenever going out making sure to do an internet pre-check of where all washrooms are.

9. Having temper tantrums in malls full of non-children people

10. Finding a daycare and paying for it

11. Being judged on a whole new level by everyone

12. Realizing that people size does not relate to usage of laundry.

13. Caring about Transformers

14. and …Letting your kid answer the phone when non-children people call – possibly the best entertainment!

Would I do it again – in a heartbeat because nothing beats being a Mom